


Fandom poetry

by Corvicula1979



Category: Babylon 5, Captain America (Movies), Firefly, Hex (TV), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Norse Religion & Lore, Real Person Fiction, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies), X-Men: First Class (2011) - Fandom
Genre: Angst, Beltane, Bucky Barnes Feels, Canon Disabled Character, Dom/sub Undertones, F/M, Frosthawk - Freeform, Gen, Holocaust Reference, Internalised ableism, Jayne's cunning hat, Loki Feels, Loki's Army, Loki's Hair, Loki's sexy voice, Loneliness, Longing, M/M, Religious Imagery & Symbolism, Sex and death, abuse of falconry metaphors, depression/dysthymia, erik's concentration camp tattoo, mention of suicide attempts and ideation, myth!Loki - Freeform, non graphic mention of nasty violence, quantum entanglement, sex as worship, suggestive but not explicit, warning: norse myth
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-07-01
Updated: 2015-05-03
Packaged: 2018-02-07 00:08:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 34
Words: 4,340
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1877649
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Corvicula1979/pseuds/Corvicula1979
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The poems I have written related to various fandoms.</p><p>Okay and honestly there is some Myth!Loki in here as well, which I guess isn't fandom, but I POST WHAT I WANT.<br/>They're about (Marvel) Loki unless noted otherwise. </p><p>None of the characters belong to me. In the "memed" haiku, none of the images do either. Basically downloaded from everywhere, except a couple that I screencapped myself, and one where I made some photoshop changes of my own to an image I downloaded. :)</p><p>Including my ever growing collection of Loki haiku. (Can also be found on http://www.tumblr.com/blog/lokishaiku : yes, that is me.)</p><p>I'm using "chapters" for each poem (except the haiku, which are posted collectively), and leaving the number of chapters open-ended. But it's not like fiction where that means something is 'unfinished' - just that there will most likely be more to come...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. A Valentine for Lord Loki

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written 9 Feb 2014
> 
> The local science fiction and fantasy bookstore had a contest for 'Singles Awareness Day' (aka Valentine's Day) on the theme of "Valentine to a fictional character." The prize was a box of fancy chocolates. And fame and recognition, of course.
> 
> So this happened. This was at the very beginning of my obsession, and the first poem I'd written in literally years, let alone the first fannish poem. 
> 
> And, oh yeah. I won. :)

O black haired stepchild  
I bare my chest to you  
Bury your spear deep inside  
My heart was already yours  
  
O make me long for something as sweet as pain


	2. Bounded in a Nutshell

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written 14 Feb 2014
> 
> I haven't tagged it, but if anyone is interested, the 'one,' the 'beloved comrade' is Arkady Renko of Gorky Park (the movie and the book.) The second 'he' is Loki. Obvs. :)

Alone, alone  
To weep in the dark  
But it will not come.  
One says, let it go  
Let it out  
Would hold me to him;  
But beloved comrade,  
This comfort is not mine  
Beyond my deserving.

So broken, grey, hollow-hearted  
I dream on another  
No-one's son  
So twisted inside  
That another's joy sears  
And leaves the taste of ashes  
In his mouth in my mouth  
And all we can wish  
Is to turn all to ruin  
That others will taste  
As we do,  
Only ash.

In his arms  
Only fleeting comfort  
In the end he will bring pain.  
This is my deserving.

Yet I shall lie alone, alone  
No-one's arms to hold  
Never can I summon him  
For we are imprisoned  
Unfathomably distant  
He in his punishment  
And I, in a nutshell.


	3. Silvertongue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written 19 March 2014
> 
> The title should make it obvious. :)

  
O come and speak  
Lord of my heart  
Let me hear you  
  
First would you command me  
Your voice a blade of ice  
Trailing slowly down my spine  
  
Utter your threats most vile  
In a velvet purr  
Caressing every inch of me  
  
Whisper softly your sweetest lies  
I drink them down  
A voice of honey, smoke  
And Spanish Fly  
  
Would you control me  
Pin me down with your eyes  
Set every nerve aflame  
With your malachite gaze  
  
With your words alone  
My blood sings  
You lead me to this ledge  
Touch me only once  
And I shall fly  
  
  
Calling out your name


	4. Written on my flesh, my heart, my soul

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Written 21 March 2014

how many times  
must i dream of eyes  
voice, lips and hands  
whispering your name  
  
how many times   
must i leap and fall  
embracing the little death  
crying out your name  
  
how many times  
must i call out in the night  
the skin of my thigh  
inscribed with your name  
  
will you answer my call  
some starlit night  
when on my knees  
i whisper your name


	5. Devotion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written April 4 2014

Oh my beloved  
If you are a god  
I am your votary  
The mark of dedication  
Carved in my skin  
  
Oh my beloved  
If you are a god  
My every moan is a prayer  
Every climax a sacrifice  
Offered freely to you  
I am your tribute  
I am your holy slave


	6. And I would be your horse

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written 24 April 2014  
> Yeah. So this is really about Hiddles, not Loki. Or about several of his other roles.

I would be your crown  
To touch your curls  
I would be your blush  
To caress your cheek  
I would be your goblet  
To kiss your lips  
And I would be your wine  
That you would drink me down  
  
I would be your glove  
To hold your hand  
I would be your boots  
To kiss your feet  
I would be your shirt  
To embrace your chest  
I would be your lute  
To rest in your lap  
  
And you would sound sweet music upon me


	7. Twice

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written May Day 2014

Twice a prince  
And none at all  
Two scepters  
You could not keep  
  
Two fathers  
And none at all  
Two brothers  
Who never were  
Yet always are  
  
Twice left to die  
Twice prevailed  
Once by compassion  
Once in pain  
  
Twice to conquer  
Twice failed  
Twice fallen  
Only once in space  
  
Twice a king  
Once by guile  
And once by love  
Reigning in my heart


	8. Come to Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written Beltane (May Day) 2014.  
> I think it's pretty tame, considering that.

On this day of new fire  
On this day of desire  
Come to me  
  
Come to me in defeat  
Come to me in victory  
Come to me full of heat  
Of the battle survived  
Only come to me  
  
Come to me in anguish  
Come to me in joy  
Come to me for comfort  
Come to me for celebration  
Only come to me  
  
Come to me to control  
Come to me to submit  
Come to me with pain  
Come to me with pleasure  
Only come to me  
  
Come to me with honey words  
Come to me with power alight  
Come to me with simple touch  
Speaking only in gesture  
Only come to me  
  
Come to me in mischief  
Come to me with mayhem  
Come to me with lies  
Come to me to unravel  
The knots of your plans  
Only come to me  
  
Only come to me  
On this day of new fire  
On this day of desire  
I beg I pray  
Only come to me   
  



	9. Many Masks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written May 10 2014

My changeable beloved  
Mercurial in mood  
You have taken for me  
The part of Eros  
And that of Morpheus  
You speak to my heart  
The whispers of Erato  
Shall you play, in time,  
Every role in my heart?


	10. Spukhafte Fernwirkung

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written 13 May 2014
> 
> Einstein derided the concept of quantum entanglement as "spooky action at a distance."  
> Except, he didn't say it like that. He said it auf Deutsch: "spukhafte Fernwirkung."
> 
> Evidently I am both a science nerd and a language nerd.
> 
> In my head this is Cassie and Loki from my fic "Bright Constellations," but you don't need to know that to appreciate it.

Spooky action at a distance  
You walk through my dreams  
I can almost feel the brush  
Of your questing mind  
Was it a dream shared  
Did I walk through yours?  
Across the Realms, across the universe  
Quantum entanglement of our souls


	11. His Army

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Potential trigger warning re: mention of suicide
> 
> Written 17 June 2014

oh you have an army  
the misfits, the outcasts  
the lonely, the heartbroken  
those touched by madness  
who see it clearly  
the attempted suicides  
and those who only dream of it  
the hungry, the fallen,  
the damned, the broken  
this is your army  
fiercely loyal  
for you are one of us


	12. Rite of Fusion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written 28 June 2014

thin lips  
are just as soft  
and taste as sweet  
  
isolated from the rest  
our world is only  
eyes, cheek, nose, mouth  
warm breath of whispers  
your face pale as moonlight  
curtained by veils of night  
  
chest to chest, skin on skin  
I bear a heavy burden  
with the lightest of hearts  
  
you both crave and fear  
to defile, to profane me  
but it cannot be done  
  
as the staff opens the bridge  
as the sword in the chalice  
we shall be, you and I  
as above, so below  
  
we are melded in worship  
no matter how savage your passion  
it only consecrates me


	13. (untitled haiku)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this was a musing about the fate of telepaths in two different 'verses: Firefly/Serenity and Babylon 5

mother and father  
or two by two, hands of blue  
they will come for you


	14. (untitled hat haiku)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, because of all the Loki haiku I've been writing, I've become somewhat attuned to noticing when a quote has the right number of syllables for a haiku line (I tend to try to stick to 5/7/5).
> 
> And then I noticed that "Pretty cunning, doncha think?" has seven syllables.  
> And I was like Nopenopenopenopenopenopenopenopenope not doing that. Not writing a haiku about Jayne in any way.   
> But it stuck in my brain and demanded to be written and to be paid attention to.
> 
> So this happened.  
> BECAUSE IT WOULDN'T LEAVE MY BRAIN UNLESS I WROTE IT. DAMMIT.
> 
> There. It's done. It's out there. I am deeply ashamed of having written this.

doofy orange hat

pretty cunning, doncha think?

only if you're Jayne


	15. Collected Loki haiku: plain text.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning on at least one of these for sexual violence.
> 
> The earliest of these was written May 4 2014, the latest October 16 2014.  
> Two of these are Clint/Loki related, rather than me basically writing love notes, or writing in Loki's voice in a general way.  
> Also one of these is completely obscure. But in my mind it's about him, so there.
> 
> There are some direct quotes from the movies incorporated into the haiku, or only slightly altered. I don't claim to own the dialogue; just that I'm doing something new and different with it.  
> Especially where I'm taking lines hilariously and lewdly out of context.
> 
> Not all of the haiku are suggestive/racy, but some are.

The liquor of love  
swirls sweetly between our tongues  
drink it down for me  
  
Yes my sweetest love  
Body heart and soul, you are mine  
come apart for me    
  
mortal mouth upon me  
her submission is complete  
you will always kneel  
  
silvertongue made still  
in the sweetest way I know  
sipping my nectar  
  
i have an army  
and each of them serve me well  
but you will be mine  
  
always less favoured  
you will be first in my heart  
forever my king  
  
I wait on my knees  
For my beloved's pleasure  
My choice to be ruled  
  
you have heart my pet  
enough heart to take me on  
undone on your knees  
  
is not this simpler  
crying out for your master    
oh but i like this  
  
this poisonous dream  
can you wipe out that much red  
with lashes and chains  
  
tell me what you need  
it burns to have come so close  
I shall satisfy  
  
what real power is:  
say my name you mewling quim  
when you fall apart  
  
you cannot judge me,  
oh, no, you brought the monster  
it is part of you  
  
I mean to rule you  
where is my disadvantage  
you will always kneel  
  
my beloved king  
I'll open the door for you  
what have I to fear  
  
ending in defeat  
if it's all the same to you  
I'll have that drink now  
  
I invade their world  
but all the ladies want me,  
have i made you proud?

(these next two haiku are meant to be a pair)  
  
when you are hurting  
I would kiss your tears away  
let me soothe your heart  
  
when the panther grins  
you shall conquer all of me  
your too-willing prey

 

 

Spread on love's altar  
Am I being sacrificed  
Or am I worshiped?

ever on my knees  
my rightful place at your feet  
my lover, my king

you started an itch  
and only you can scratch it  
my one, my chosen  
  
you made this sickness  
and you are the only cure  
my sweet remedy  
  
laugh low in your throat  
oh, what you will do to me  
I'm undone with need  
  
I'll set you to hunt  
precious hawk, you will fly back  
tamed to my fist alone  
  
sly bringer of fire  
you set my marrow alight  
flames dance in your hands  
  
in your arms each night  
I sleep basking in my love  
you are never here  
  
kill me from inside  
slowly and intimately  
take me to pieces

freedom is the lie  
I hold your truth in my heart  
in you I know peace  
  
this is my bargain  
lay your heart down at my feet  
I'll requite your need  
  
you are my polestar  
I find my way by your light  
and follow your path  
  
beloved craftsman  
remake me in your image  
to weave words for you

with conquest in mind  
gentleness would suit you ill  
take me til I bleed  
  
such fickle creatures  
you should have let me rule you  
eager to serve now  
  
loyal votaries  
hearts ache and hunger for me  
I cherish their love

lustrous magpie's wings  
framing its ivory breast  
emeralds hang there

one slim one curvy  
two beloved disciples  
you hold in your arms  
  
your tiercel could not  
return to your call but still  
he yearns for your glove  
  
oh deadly serpent  
who was the great queen's release  
will be my torture


	16. Collected Loki haiku: haikumemes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning on at least one of these for sexual violence.
> 
> Images aren't mine. One is a Rackham illustration and in the public domain. They're basically downloaded from all sorts of places, a few of them are my own screencaptures, and the magpie thing started from someone else's downloaded image, but I altered it in photoshop. My first photoshop effort, by the way. 
> 
> If I've used your image and you want credit, drop me a note and I'll be happy to work it out with you.
> 
> Apologies for the wild variation in image sizes. That's what comes from downloading them. :)
> 
> The earliest of these was written May 4 2014, the latest October 16 2014.  
> Two of these are Clint/Loki related, rather than me basically writing love notes, or writing in Loki's voice in a general way.  
> Also one of these is completely obscure. But in my mind it's about him, so there.
> 
> There are some direct quotes from the movies incorporated into the haiku, or only slightly altered. I don't claim to own the dialogue; just that I'm doing something new and different with it.  
> Especially where I'm taking lines hilariously and lewdly out of context.
> 
> Not all of the haiku are suggestive/racy, but some are.
> 
> Trigger warning on at least one of these for sexual violence.

(my favourite haiku, my favourite Loki pic ever, and my favourite haiku - image pairing)

(I know, this picture really doesn’t illustrate what I’m talking about, but it is the only moment in the movies where someone makes him shut up, so.)

(given the quote, I kinda had to go with the scene where he takes Barton. Sorry, Clint!)

(Uh, yeah. Don’t ask me where that haiku came from in my brain. I don’t even. I don’t want to torture him. Much?)

(If not this exact frame, in this scene he's saying “You can bring your urgent matter to me.” Well, can't imagine what my _urgent matter_ might be, can you?) ;)

(So I actually don’t know if I mean this haiku to be said _by_ Loki, as (the middle line) in the movie; or to be said by someone else _to_ Loki … the darkness in his soul, and/or “the monster parents tell their children about at night” ie the Frost Giant heritage.

I’m kind of amused that I have differing interpretations in my head about my _own_ work. I think that might be a first.)

(I love it when the dialogue fits into the syllable structure on its own...)

The following two haiku go together as a pair:

(Not entirely happy with “when the panther grins” because … it HAD to be that picture with the creepy-ass Kubrick stare; but there wasn’t a lot of room for text while avoiding Loki’s face… so the text is small. #NotIdeal.)

(So there’s no pictures out there for what I have in mind, which is quite literally involving some kind of altar. So here’s a golden throne instead. Look, it made sense in my head, okay?)

(Really wasn’t sure what to use as an image. Because I was thinking of Hiddlespox, lovesickness, etc. So, I guess I could have used an insanely sweet picture of him…

But no. I’m weird and twisted. So here’s Loki being the one looking ill.)

(So if you watch the full appearance of Tom/Loki at Hall H at SDCC 2013… there’s this moment, about 50, 52 seconds in (in the video I’ve been watching) where he gives this little chuckle. Only it’s really _not_ Tom’s trademark “Ehehehe” … it’s quieter, and lower in pitch (I think?). And _that_ …. was pure Loki.

And that’s really all you need to know about this haiku. It’s how I feel about that.

The image is me taking a print screen from watching it on YouTube, paused at just that moment.)

(So, by way of explanation: the emotions are what Marvel Loki has given me, but the imagery in the poem is refers to Myth Loki. Hence the picture, which is an illustration by Arthur Rackham, and really gorgeous I think. I'm so glad I found it.)

(I actually made two different images for this one. I actually like the other one better but most of my friends preferred this one, and I assume that might be generally representative of people's tastes.)

(Look. some women have violent / noncon fantasies. And that threat… did things to me. I am not ashamed of my sexual fantasies, even if I wouldn’t want them to happen in real life.)

(Yeah, that’s supposed to be a little Polaris up in the corner. I tried. I did that in Paint and I'm crap at manipulation. Sorry about that.)  


(Somewhat more Myth Loki than otherwise, again.)

(A note on the image. This started as a GIF done by inlovewithacriminals.tumblr.com, extracted one frame from it, cropped it some (removing the watermark sry), and then …. my first real attempt at photoshop!)

okay the choice of picture isn’t perfect, but basically… what I would have liked is Loki snuggled between two women. That picture doesn’t exist (okay, well maybe there’s fanart) … at least, this is from the movie so I consider it fair game for memifying, and, well, he’s interacting with two women. I was having a damn hard time even finding TOM out of character, in other characters, whatever, between two women. So, it is what it is.

Myth!Loki.

What happens when you see everything through a Loki lens, and go and watch _Antony and Cleopatra_.

The art is by Patten Wilson, 1908.


	17. Creator Deceiver Destroyer

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written 4 July 2014
> 
> probably doesn't count as 'fandom' poetry, since in my head this is entirely addressed to Myth Loki.  
> But hey. I post what I want.

As I long for you and call for you  
I know not what aspect you will bring  
If you come, no, when you come  
I do not know which face I hope to see

I thought I craved the creator  
crafty, the benevolent,  
gift-giver to men and gods  
Would you come as the lover?  
But would even your succour  
your blessing, your passion  
be enough to cure  
a black heart of melancholy  
would even your fire  
be enough to warm the icy cavern  
inside this hollow shell

And if you came as trickster  
player of pranks  
weaver of schemes and lies  
you would delight a mind  
dulled by ennui, bored with life  
and this sterile earth  
but would even your tricks  
grow stale with time and habit

And if you come as chaos  
As vengeance, as destroyer  
I would welcome that also  
Perhaps most of all


	18. Trickster's Grace

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written 7 July 2014.
> 
> For the first time, he visited me in my dreams. Because dreams are weird, sometimes they make better poems than they do prose descriptions.  
> Again arguably not fandom, because this is Myth Loki; do note the OLLA reference, though.

The gods of dark and those of grey  
caged behind bars, powers bound  
reduced to shadows of themselves  
none defend them in the modern world  
except for my patron, lord and friend  
except for the sly one, the swift one

who will speak for him?  
giver of fire, bringer of ruin  
he who wins with trickery  
what cannot be won by swords

Who am I to argue for him?  
I am his votary, his channel, his champion  
Hear my words: the world needs him  
Needs his cunning, his deceit,  
Mischief must walk freely through the spheres  
He dances between good and evil  
and maintains the line between

And when the best-laid plans went awry  
Yes, it was I who let him in

I ride beside him as he rides to freedom  
Under his wing, warm affection  
he welcomes my embrace  
and we mock with no barbs

What next, now you are unbound?  
He says, let us wander the ruins  
the ghost city along the Detroit,   
I ask him, only take my hand   
we shall be as Adam and Eve

An elder spirit in deep Siberia  
He would visit and make parley  
I accompany without complaint  
So long as we ride the rails  
Across the steppes, through the night  
And into their newborn legend  
And he feeds me the finest caviar  
From his fingers

He has whispered to my heart  
I belong by his side now and ever  
The companion to all his adventures


	19. Rainbow Viaduct

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written July 4, 2014.
> 
> TW: referencing what I think was a suicide attempt on Loki's part. And remembering a time when I felt that way.

When I desired it  
I too preferred a bridge  
One step only then no turning back  
No chance to regret

But there was a barrier there

Named for a prince  
Nothing like the iridescence  
Or the magic of the bridge you used  
But it spans high and majestic  
Over a deep ravine  
And the river's siren song


	20. Sapling

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> written 17 July 2014
> 
> Myth Loki more than anything, I guess.
> 
> This is an attempt at alliterative verse a la Germanic/Scandinavian style. I think it needs more metrical structure, but hey. This could be its own (new?) thing.

Grows a small, young ash / Green spearheads throw shadows  
In the neighbour yard / It dreams of its mighty cousin

I daydream of you / In a raven's feathers  
Come here to see me / Calling a mimic's song  
Watching over me / Walking the tree's limbs  
As you walk the world-ash / O lovely Skytreader.


	21. For me, all for me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> written 17 July 2014  
> So this kind of belongs with Chapter 2 of Bright Constellations. A little peek inside Loki's head.
> 
> I'm not entirely satisfied with it, but I wrote back when I was working on that part of the story, I think, and it's been sitting in my notebook. Less that there's anything wrong with the poem, more that it feels like too much explaining for a minor detail.
> 
> But, he makes me write this stuff too. So.. (shrugs)

all for you, she said

never had I received

such a pure desire

no advantage sought

no motive, no scheme

all for you, she said

husky with love and need

for the man I am

someone for my own

and I sobbed beneath my moan


	22. What I strive for

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written 2 September 2014
> 
> Myth Loki, so again, starting to wonder if these really belong here.  
> Read some devotional poetry that blew me away and made me feel inadequate...

Her words, my Muse,

make mine seem

shallow, childish

as a playground rhyme

 

and her fire, her desire

make mine seem

a flickering candle

a youth's puppy love

 

and yet

 

it is not a competition

my envy should spur me

to better things

 

Master of lies,

weaver of words,

if you will allow me

to learn at your knee

or by your side

teach my tongue

but a fraction of your guile

 

I will myself stoke the flames

to burn more brightly

in my devotion

 

And the desire

we shall deepen together

for when you are truly here

your smallest touch

makes molten every nerve

 

Oh Sky-Treader

you dance through my life

can you fault me

that I want to catch you

and dance a few wild turns

joyous in your arms


	23. Know you just what you ask

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written 4 September 2014.
> 
> Myth Loki.

_Know you, pretty maiden_

_just what you ask?_

 

(He called me pretty!)

 

_Know you, mortal child_

_what I am capable of?_

 

I care not.

 

_I will take what you will give_

I will endure whatever you wreak

 

_I am monstrous_

I will receive you,

though you tear me in two

 

_I am fire_

I will embrace you,

though you burn my skin

 

_I am the betrayer_

And you were betrayed

but I will stand by you ever

 

_I am lies_

I will drink your words

and know the truth behind them

 

_I am the destroyer_

I will invite you in

though you bring down

these walls around me

 

you bring mischief to me

too long the good girl

 

you make me dance

whose feet too long have been lead

 

you bring laughter

to a soul too often somber

 

and you bring heat

to loins and heart

too long gone cold


	24. I am of Jötunheim

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written 9 September 2014.
> 
> Again this is really myth Loki, except for the blatant, though not quite word for word, movie quote in the last verse.  
> The stuff that they do to him in myth gives me more damn feels than the movies, sometimes.  
> I mean, seriously. Making one son kill the other to punish *him*? And then binding him with his dead child's viscera? I don't care how much he deserved some kind of punishment. That's completely disproportionate.

I am of Jötunheim

 

We who were once blood brothers

Mistrust has torn us asunder

Animosity has torn us asunder

 

My swift son, my womb-son

Taken as my rival's steed

 

My fierce son, my wild son

Taken and bound to stone

A sword through his jaws

 

My coiling son, my long son

Exiled to the sea, awaiting fate

Deadly sport for fishermen

 

My only daughter, beloved daughter

Exiled from me to rule the shades

 

My twin sons, my youngest sons

One made to tear apart his brother

And my own child's entrails

They have used to bind me

 

Oh yes, I am of Jötunheim

And all I ask is a good seat

From which to watch Asgard burn


	25. Wild

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> written September 22, 2014
> 
> Actually, usually my headcanon about Loki is that he'd be fairly well controlled even in bed, because he'd be the one exquisitely running the show. But ... sometimes I think this.

The power of desire  
Over one normally so refined  
Over one normally so controlled  
  
but under its grip  
you become something feral  
full of bites and scratches  
a thing of snarls and howls  
a thing of heat and strength  
  
untameable


	26. Am I Ever Not Going to Fall for That?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written today 12 October 2014
> 
> Yeah, actually? This is me writing about my personal life. But I chose to phrase it in the metaphor of Thor and Loki, so it belongs here, I think.

Once, sweet prince,  
Do not forget,  
once it was I who soothed you  
And coaxed you from the edge  
  
Oh my brother, sweet trickster  
How deep was my love  
Every day I tried to show you  
Through my deeds,  
Every one imbued with love  
  
But I am a fool, I am your fool  
Ever and always your fool  
For I spoke not the words  
And you never knew  
And never saw in my actions  
How much I loved  
  
And now again we find ourselves  
On the Bifröst, hanging among stars  
And not knowing my love  
You have slipped from my grasp  
  
But today it is I who falls into the abyss  
  
Did you mourn?


	27. Who was he?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written 15 October 2014  
> Like the previous one, it's really talking about my own personal stuff. This time, through the metaphor of the Winter Soldier. The one who broke my heart is deeply moved by that scene, and all I could think, in my pain, was that I actually envied him.

I have failed my mission  
Oh my commander  
I have failed  
  
I was made and remade  
To be a machine  
All that is human taken apart  
Put together cold  
I should not have a heart  
  
But that one on the bridge  
I knew, I knew, I knew  
And I could not reach  
  
I should not have a heart  
But it is breaking  
  
The pain of my body is nothing  
Take away this pain of my mind  
Wipe remembrance clean  
So that face will not haunt me  
  
And give me sweet oblivion  
Of frozen sleep


	28. This is not your shame

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I watched X-men First Class the other day and now I have ALL THE CHERIK FEELS EVAR.
> 
> Except the "will not" (that's emphasis), words in italics are thoughts/telepathic speech.
> 
> Charles' POV.
> 
> Written today 18/11/14

I watch my love  
As he undresses for the first time  
After heated glances  
And hotter thoughts  
Above the ever-present chessboard  
Led to kisses, sweet then hungry  
And led here  
To my bedroom  
And he stands  
Usually such a forceful presence  
Now shy in front of me  
and I _will not_ pry  
to understand why  
  
His shirt falls away  
and I take in what's revealed  
eyes devouring the sight  
chest and stomach  
the power of his shoulders  
the strength of his arms  
and I yearn to let hands and lips  
join my eyes  
in the feverish study of him  
  
I feel him laugh in my mind  
my thought has spilled over  
and he raises his hand to my collar  
 _too busy gawking to do this yourself_  
  
his arms are never bare  
I realize of a sudden  
until now I had not noticed  
Of course I should have known  
  
Such a small thing  
Black ink in his pink skin  
  
he sees my gaze flicker there  
then away, and he stops,  
stiff and cold  
grey eyes searching mine  
not knowing what he'll find  
  
I clasp his arm and kiss him  
“my friend”  
 _my love_  
“this was done to you  
this is not your shame to bear”  
 _you mean infinitely more_  
(two-one-four  
seven-eight-two)  
 _than the numbers on your skin_  
  



	29. and the heart whispers, Azazeal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written 19/12/2014
> 
> I watched Hex, and I fell hard for Azazeal.

fallen one  
break your fall  
on my soft breast

fallen one  
I would not have fought you  
I would let you coax me  
so willingly to give in

fallen one  
you would never repulse me  
even in your truest form  
enfold me in leathery wings

fallen one  
all my sacrifices are willing  
take the memories  
of every prior love  
take my heart, my soul  
take my past and future

fallen one  
make me your mistress  
your fleeting beloved  
or if you must have blood  
I will be your sacrifice  
I would willingly die on your knife  
if only you will take me in my bliss  
give me the little death on your sword  
with the greater death on your blade  
and both of them  
with your name on my lips  
love's benediction


	30. Autumn's Hurricanes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> written 4-6 January 2015
> 
> Cherik has basically taken over my brain.
> 
> POV/voice varies here. Sometimes it's Charles, sometimes it's Erik, and I know it's not necessarily obvious which is which.

When I first met you  
On the cusp of fall  
I knew you would be  
my new beginning  
my life renewed  
  
words of friendship  
words of welcome  
words of belonging  
dripped like honey  
from your apple-red lips  
  
you gave me back my heart  
so long withered and cold  
and now it is yours  
thriving in your care  
safe in your nurturing hands  
  
you showed me how to dream  
how we all can be more  
that what were before  
to reach for things   
beyond our grasp  
and make the extraordinary happen  
  
we are so different  
and yet so much the same  
our convictions  
and our goals diverge  
but we find common ground  
in our desires  
and in our hearts  
  
Finally, after so long  
allowed to touch  
I’m drawn towards you  
pulled towards your light  
yearning for the fire  
and that burning consummation  
like the ill-fated moth  
  
and you could pin me  
like a hapless insect  
in the naturalist’s collection  
and I would not mind  
spread out naked  
under the heat of your gaze  
  
the storm cloud’s gray  
the fathomless blue depths of the sea  
we danced around each other  
so long and so carefully  
now our kiss will raise  
autumn’s hurricanes  
  
on the edge of war  
will you bring me peace  
on the brink of disaster  
at the end of the world  
we dare to explore  
what otherwise we would deny  
we seek joy in one another  
  
pledge to each other  
private vows  
made in silence  
  
whatever happens  
even if the world  
should tear us apart  
I will never  
stop loving you  
  
underneath your strength  
such tenderness  
such diffidence  
  
in your slender frame  
such fierceness  
such power  
you’d move the stars  
by will alone  
what chance had I  
once you set your sights on me  
  
take my hand  
take my lips  
take my body  
take my heart  
take all of me,  
 _mein Liebling,_  
oh my love.  
  



	31. At First Sight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written 17/3/2015
> 
> Still only writing Cherik. Charles' POV, this one.

love is too deep  
and too complex a thing  
for me to believe  
in love at first sight

but there was something  
some connection, some spark  
from that first moment  
when skin and minds touched  
from that first moment  
when I rescued a man  
who did not want to be saved


	32. And I will always be there

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written April 2, 2015  
> More Cherik. Again, Charles' POV, but this is older Charles and Erik, basically at the point of the later films.

Age and time  
Has cooled our ardour  
And the fire of our convictions

When once we were heartsick foes  
Now we're more often squabbling allies  
Easy friends even at war

And still you scoff at idealism,  
At my search for hope

But my dearest friend,  
I can still remember  
The bittersweet taste of your tears  
Joy mixed with sorrow  
When you still could weep

I still remember a night  
When you found serenity in my arms  
I remember the man who told me  
Come what may  
Never to doubt his love

Old friend, when will you see  
The hope I seek is yours?


	33. Alone in a private room

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is actually more than a month old, but I was forever tinkering with it ... (first version was 23/2/2015; this version is 12/3/2015)  
> Charles to Erik, in AU where Erik doesn't leave after Cuba.  
> Logically part of my 'Always in My Head' series.

I'm restless this autumn night  
and I miss your company  
Struggling in my cage  
of crippled flesh  
There's miles between us  
but I taste your slumber

I might sleep too  
if only I were in your arms  
All my trials seem easier  
when you are near  
you do not see half a man  
only the same one you've always loved

old cynic, how it's changed  
now you carry the hope  
I must labour hard to find

Oh, when you are by my side  
what matter is a broken body  
when my heart is whole?


	34. NOTE NOTE PAY ATTENTION

This is getting out of hand and I'm going to reorganize my poetry, because reasons. I think I'll leave this alone (ie not delete it) for now, but no further updates.


End file.
